Growing up people would ask me, "What do you want to do when you get older?". Acting was always the first thing to come to mind because of how much I love it. The truth is that in the back of my mind I always thought, "Why do I have to do anything?". I know that sounds like I'm some lazy loser with no life but it's actually something very different.
Since I was a child I have always craved something much simpler than our world of the Internet, cell phones, and the need to be something. I've always wanted much more in life than than to be rich. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to loved and be in love. I wanted to be surrounded by beauty and to be ruled by nothing other than what I felt like doing that day.
Someday, I'd like to have kids that I'd like to teach to appreciate the soil more than their cellphone. I'd like them to appreciate the feeling of the sun on their skin more than the physical appearance of their tan.
We were taught that we have to be something. We have to make money, be the best, and strive for more. I have visions dancing around my head that don't include that. I only wish to make enough and buy an escape from the world. I wish to be surrounded by beauty and nature. I wish to be surrounded by loved ones and kind people who appreciate the real things in the world. I want to live in a world and a life that feels safe, homey, and nice.
In the end, when we pass away, only idiots will look back on our lives and value how many Birkin bags they had. When you look back on your life, I guarantee what will matter are the people, the memories you shared, the love you had, and the legacy you left behind.
I don't know if I want to pass on this vision of the "American dream" on. I don't want to pass on this idea that money means superiority or that spending 14 hours a day in the office is normal and right. Where is your life if your whole life is a series of disconnected relationships, long hours at a job you hate but told you should stay with so you can make good money, and you hardly see your friends, family, gym, or yourself. But then you could settle for the "mediocre life" of the suburbs where you live in the smallest town where you're constantly judged and the coolest girls in school are the ones who got a designer bags for Christmas and shop at Abercrombie and Fitch.
No, I want something different. I think everyone considered these thoughts as a lack of focus rather than a want for something different. No one has ever understood that my goals were always very simple. Do what I love, be with who I love, be surrounded by what I love. Stop putting importance on things that don't matter.
What if all I really want is a vineyard in the South of France away from the world's expectations? What if I just want somewhere beautiful to live out all of my days? What if I want something self-sustainable? It just pays for itself by the things that the lands provide and I can spend my days enjoying the simple fruits of my labor? What if all I want is to travel on occasion, write, love, make amazing food, and live without any pressure to be or do anything more than squeeze the happiness out of each day?